And just like that I went from a stay at home mom to a work from home mom, and let me tell you – it ain’t easy.
Before we had kids I was very adamant that I would not be a good stay at home mom, but then we tried and tried to get pregnant and it just didn’t seem possible to leave that precious little girl when she came into our world and when her brother followed so quickly after it cemented the deal. Stay at home mom I would be.
Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, it’s been absolutely amazing. But if you’ve been here before, you know patience does not come naturally to me. So throw in two tiny humans who whine a lot of the time and we have our fair share of daily battles.
Coaching gymnastics has always been a passion of mine and I’ve been doing it since I was old enough to have a job. When we moved to a new city I feared that part of me would be lost, but the stars aligned and a head coach position had just opened up at a school nearby and then they aligned even more when I got the call that the job was mine. In case you were wondering, there’s a HUGE difference in assistant coach to head coach.
As an assistant coach, for the most part I just showed up to practice and meets with my only responsibility outside of the gym making line ups for the week. As a head coach, I work at least 1-2 hours a day outside of the gym. Perfecting the days lesson plans, making line ups, emailing parents, checking scores, recording points for my athletes to earn awards within the conference and state, attending meetings, etc.
Now, this was a welcomed responsibility. I got to use my logic brain for more than deciphering why someone was angry with someone else or what the whining meant during that particular moment. But with my new responsibility, the mom responsibility didn’t lessen.
After one year with a taste of being back in the working world as some capacity, I realized how much I missed working. I missed having a purpose beyond mommin’. No matter how fulfilling that is, mommin’ is a long game and I was missing the mini rewards that come each day with a typical job.
So I applied to become a stylist for Stitch Fix. It wasn’t the first time I applied but something this time it clicked the right boxes in the process and I was offered the position! Covid happened and hiring froze for awhile but when they opened those doors back up, they reached out to me again and I began the training process.
Immediately I felt rewarded and fulfilled in ways I hadn’t in a long time. While I was not doing graphic design, I got to flex my creative muscles again and dang did ti feel good. In the mean time my gymnastics season kept getting pushed back due to Covid and the reality of working two part time jobs did as well.
Well we are one week in, and full transparency, it’s straight chaos over here. I’m balancing on a high beam and running out of places to distribute the weight.
For 3 hours a day I style for Stitch Fix, for 1-2 hours a day I do behind the scenes things for my team, and for 3 hours a day I’m in the gym with my team. And during all that, I’m mommin’.
I don’t get to go into an office and close the door. I don’t get to focus 100% on anything at any one time. Every thing I’m responsible for gets only part of my attention and therefore not enough my attention all at the same time.
My house is a mess, my kids whine a little more and watch far too much tv, I get into the gym and realize I forgot things at home, or can’t keep our rotation schedule straight that day. I fight with my husband, I yell a little too much at my kids when my focus is off them and they want it on, I don’t keep in touch with my friends, I get frustrated with my athletes when they’re mind isn’t in the right place because I feel like I’m putting everything on the line during this insane year of hoops were jumping through, and I am certainly not taking care of myself.
A long time ago I was also a gymnast, despite the loose joints I was blessed with, I pushed through injury after injury because gymnastics was (and still is) my biggest passion. But guess what, that means when I coach every day I come home to aches and pains. I roll my ankle over mats and my torn ligament screams at me even when I’m just trying to sit down on the floor with my kids. My hips ache from the horrible posture I’ve developed due to said injuries, My knees slide out of place again with ease, and my back screams from all the standing and over arching I’m doing. I forget to eat, I forget to shower, I don’t get dressed until I’m heading out the door to practice. My kids stay in their pajamas all day. No one’s hair gets brushed. But hey, at least I remember to brush all the teeth.
Work from home mommin’ ain’t easy my friends. Somedays I’m not sure how to push through it when everything feels like it’s lacking. Soon schools starts for our preschooler again and I’m really not sure how to add another level of complexity to our days.
This is basically one big vent session. I don’t really have a point. I don’t have a magic solution. I’m just getting it out there in the universe. Working two part time jobs that end up equaling a full time job while full time mommin’ is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.